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So hey guys! Long time no talk. First off, I really wanted to bring up the subject on my absence for the past few years now & why I have not been submitting a whole lot of art. And I figured since today officially marks my dAnniversary, what better day to make a journal. I will try to not make this journal the very same as my last few journals. So bear with me please.
I just want all of you guys to know that just because I don't post any drawings at all anymore doesn't mean that I have lost my love for drawing. In fact, I still have past sketch books from 2013 - 2016(Even recently since the new year) full of sketches & lots inked with my prisma pens. There hasn't been a day that has gone by when I didn't want to share them all with you. But obviously I haven't because one of the main reasons being(Which I am ashamed to admit honestly) is my lack of motivation. And the other reason for the lack of motivation is my anxiety and depression diagnosis-es.
For those who may not understand, anxiety and depression are both real mental illnesses that have a huge interference in everyday life. Both different conditions that commonly occur together, and I unfortunately am one of others that has them both. I was first diagnosed with depression back in January 2012 & my anxiety on July 2013. Since the very beginning I have had to take medications just to help me function properly. Since then I have tried remaining positive, helping my loved ones when they need me, and giving a smile, even when I just want to curl up in a ball in the dark and cry. Of course I do stand up for myself when I need to and to those who matter the most to me. I have let my yes mean yes and my no mean no. I've been standing my ground and found that just looking on the bright side and counting all the blessing & the things I do have in my life have been exceptionally helpful and have made me happier. Happier now than looking back at my teen years, which I refuse to look back on since it is in my past for a reason. All the things I've done & regretted later on only bring me down.
Although the current meds I am taking are helping tremendously with taking care of my grandma at home & managing my job, I am still struggling with motivating myself to go do things that use to make me really happy. There are more obvious reasons of course for my diagnosis-es, but I'm only going to explain the lack of art. I am able to motivate myself to draw at times, but when it comes to posting them online that is where the anxiety starts to kick in. When I look at all the wonderful artists that have inspired me then & now from not just here but also artists who have tumblr accounts just for their art, I can't help but be so inspired to be the best I can be when it comes to being a cartoonist. This may sound kinda selfish & maybe cliche, but when I look at how talented these cartoonists are and how happy they are, especially receiving the feedback they truly deserve from their loyal fans, I also cannot help but be sorta jealous. But mostly feeling bad and looking at the art & the ones I am proud of done by myself and thinking that they aren't as wonderfully creative and thoughtfully put together like the other artists pieces are.
But hey, when I do start feeling bad I just stop myself from the negativity and just remember my first few years here on deviantART when I began even sharing my artworks in the first place. How happy I have made some others and reading back at all the comments/critiques I have received that have made me crack a smile. After a while submitting more and more artworks I have gained many faves & tons of followers as well for the hard work I've done. That is what kept me going all along. And for all of that I thank each and every single one of those guys, and to all of my faithful watchers as well.
Even though I may not submit artwork as much anymore, I never stopped coming back to this site and looking back. Someday when I do get my schedule all together and have more free time and motivation & inspiration, maybe I will start submitting more art in the near future. But in the mean time I only plan on taking care of my mental health and of course my friends & family who have continued to support me through all my hardships. I hope you guys understand. So please be patient and pray for me. I miss you all very much. Have a fantastic & safe 2017.
~Mo3
I just want all of you guys to know that just because I don't post any drawings at all anymore doesn't mean that I have lost my love for drawing. In fact, I still have past sketch books from 2013 - 2016(Even recently since the new year) full of sketches & lots inked with my prisma pens. There hasn't been a day that has gone by when I didn't want to share them all with you. But obviously I haven't because one of the main reasons being(Which I am ashamed to admit honestly) is my lack of motivation. And the other reason for the lack of motivation is my anxiety and depression diagnosis-es.
For those who may not understand, anxiety and depression are both real mental illnesses that have a huge interference in everyday life. Both different conditions that commonly occur together, and I unfortunately am one of others that has them both. I was first diagnosed with depression back in January 2012 & my anxiety on July 2013. Since the very beginning I have had to take medications just to help me function properly. Since then I have tried remaining positive, helping my loved ones when they need me, and giving a smile, even when I just want to curl up in a ball in the dark and cry. Of course I do stand up for myself when I need to and to those who matter the most to me. I have let my yes mean yes and my no mean no. I've been standing my ground and found that just looking on the bright side and counting all the blessing & the things I do have in my life have been exceptionally helpful and have made me happier. Happier now than looking back at my teen years, which I refuse to look back on since it is in my past for a reason. All the things I've done & regretted later on only bring me down.
Although the current meds I am taking are helping tremendously with taking care of my grandma at home & managing my job, I am still struggling with motivating myself to go do things that use to make me really happy. There are more obvious reasons of course for my diagnosis-es, but I'm only going to explain the lack of art. I am able to motivate myself to draw at times, but when it comes to posting them online that is where the anxiety starts to kick in. When I look at all the wonderful artists that have inspired me then & now from not just here but also artists who have tumblr accounts just for their art, I can't help but be so inspired to be the best I can be when it comes to being a cartoonist. This may sound kinda selfish & maybe cliche, but when I look at how talented these cartoonists are and how happy they are, especially receiving the feedback they truly deserve from their loyal fans, I also cannot help but be sorta jealous. But mostly feeling bad and looking at the art & the ones I am proud of done by myself and thinking that they aren't as wonderfully creative and thoughtfully put together like the other artists pieces are.
But hey, when I do start feeling bad I just stop myself from the negativity and just remember my first few years here on deviantART when I began even sharing my artworks in the first place. How happy I have made some others and reading back at all the comments/critiques I have received that have made me crack a smile. After a while submitting more and more artworks I have gained many faves & tons of followers as well for the hard work I've done. That is what kept me going all along. And for all of that I thank each and every single one of those guys, and to all of my faithful watchers as well.
Even though I may not submit artwork as much anymore, I never stopped coming back to this site and looking back. Someday when I do get my schedule all together and have more free time and motivation & inspiration, maybe I will start submitting more art in the near future. But in the mean time I only plan on taking care of my mental health and of course my friends & family who have continued to support me through all my hardships. I hope you guys understand. So please be patient and pray for me. I miss you all very much. Have a fantastic & safe 2017.
~Mo3
Some things don't change...
As in having others still coming onto your profile and thanking you for taking the time to favorite their artworks, photography, writing, etc... is one of those nice things that has not changed. Seems like a whole lot of people do not do those kinds of things these days here on dA anymore.
Maybe silly but it's what makes me smile. :)
~Mo3 :heart:
Happy 9 year dAnniversary to me!
~Mo3 :rose:
Thoughts on redrawing an old piece or two of mine?
I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible nowadays since I haven't been working as many hours as I'd like to every week. So I figured to help pass sometime, maybe I could redraw my old artworks, whether it be original pieces or fanarts (Or both?). I've already taken a look at my entire gallery and there are a few I would like to give a go again. I was wondering if I could get some of your opinions. Take a look through my gallery and share some links in the comments. 8 full years of artworks and I'd love to know what you guys would like to see me redraw.
Have a lovely Friday and weekend! :blowkiss: ~:heart:
~Mo3. :rose:
Remember me? (8 wonderful years on DeviantART)
I know I have not submitted very many artworks and this is exactly one year ago today since I've posted my last journal entry. An apology I feel isn't enough to express, but I truly mean it. Last year was just full of rough personal struggles and life changing experiences. I had to face many hard obstacles that I wish I could share with you all, but I just can't. Not only because it would take ages for me to talk about the things I've had to deal with, but like I said before... it was all rough personal struggles. To make a long story short, let's just say that 2014 was not my year.
But I want all of you to know that I have not completely ab
© 2017 - 2024 chachi411
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Happy anniversary! Im glad your meds are helping. I also have a few meda for the same reasons, and it's not fun at all. I can't wait to see you back in action!
(And I just realised this coming summer is the 10 year anniversary I first started talking to you via email and I was a spazzy teenager obsessed with Zutara lol. Oh the embarrassing times. XD)
(And I just realised this coming summer is the 10 year anniversary I first started talking to you via email and I was a spazzy teenager obsessed with Zutara lol. Oh the embarrassing times. XD)